the abyss means...

Situation nowhere. Rush for a change of atmosphere. I can't go on, so I give in. Got to get myself right out of here.
(Situation Nowhere - Big Audio Dynamite)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It's time for me to face facts. I can't do it. I can't keep this up...

I can't go on. I'll miss this place, but I can't do it.

I give in.

It is time to end this.

But I don't want to.

And yet. I must.

bluejoh.com will continue to exist, but I shall move on.

It is not just a problem with keeping what I conceive of as a personal site, without mentioning the important things; the things that mean the world to me.

It is not just a question of time.

It is not just a problem of tone. I am not unhappy, not particularly anyway, yet I hear it in my words. (Q: Can I continue to write cryptic and/or maudlin posts? A: No. Not really. I'd bore myself...)

It is not just a question of having run out of things to say and do. (Believe me when I say I haven't!)

It is not just a problem with wanting to yell 'Cheeseboards of Doom' at inappropriate moments. (No. Really it isn't.)

It is not just the fact that my life is complete now I have seen Mornington Crescent.

It is a question of focus. I need to settle. Focus on one thing.

It has occured to me that that thing should be my PhD, which has so far been sadly neglected. (I probably should have thought about that a bit sooner!)

So, to that end I am not gone. Just a movin' on.

Moving on to a new URL and a focussed topic.

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe I'll just go yell at the sea instead. Who can say? (Hmm. Me probably. But best I can say is that it won't be long...)

When I have settled I will post the link here...

It is for the best.

(Feel free to email me, and I will explain myself more clearly... Possibly.)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There's a world that's waiting to unfold,
A brand new tale no-one has ever told.
We've journeyed far far and know it wont be long;
We're almost there, and we've paid our fare with our hobo song.
Scooch - Maybe Tomorrow (The Littlest Hobo Theme)

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Byebye Bluejoh. Good luck.

Dave Ph on November 24, 2003 12:09 PM

That has always been the saddest song I know.

Good luck with the PhD, hope it brings you what you want.

John on November 26, 2003 07:11 AM

Shame. I was just getting into this. So difficult to find a UK weblog that isn't situated deep within its own back passage. Be sure to leave the new url.

Dick Jones on December 1, 2003 08:18 AM

A shame, but I look forward to the new one, and trust that it'll lurch out into the sorts of tangents that I've enjoyed reading about here, in the past. Will miss the Brighton stuff, though.

Kevan on December 1, 2003 10:36 AM

Crikey! I'll miss this site and your ramblings. My attitude towards my blog has changed since beginning my PhD, but I've not felt the need to kill it yet. Medea waits in the wings, I'm sure...

Good luck and do post your new URL.

holly on December 1, 2003 10:36 PM